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A Professional Failure

I’m a professional failure. Why? Because I’m pretty sure that I’ve never satisfied any unreasonable schedule that I was ever  “given” to meet. Since almost all schedules are unreasonable, then, by definition, I’m a professional failure. Hell, it didn’t even matter if I was the one who created the unreasonable schedule in the first place, I’ve failed. Bummer.

Total Failure

Looking back, I think that I’ve figured out why I  underperformed (<– that’s management-speak for “failed”). It’s simply that the problem solving projects that I’ve worked on have been grossly underestimated. Why is that? Because they all required learning something new and acquiring new knowledge in the problem area of pecuniary interest.

So, how can you know  if a given schedule is unreasonable, and does it matter if you conclude that meeting the schedule is a lost cause? You most likely can’t, and no, it doesn’t matter. Assume that, based on personal experience and a deep “knowing” of what’s involved in a project, you actually can determine that the schedule is a laughable, but innocent, lie. There’s nothing you can do about it. If you speak up, at best, you’ll be ignored. At worst, you’ll receive multiple peek-a-boo visits from one or more STSJs (Status Taker and Schedule Jockey) who don’t have to do any of the project work themselves.

How about you, have you been a perpetual failure like me? Of course not. Your resume says here that you have been 100% successful on every project you’ve worked on; and that implies that you’ve met every schedule. But wait, every other resume in my stack says the same thing. Damn! How am I gonna decide among all of these perfect people who gets the job?

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